This morning we are considering “singles” - those who are unmarried either because they have never been married - or those who are single again.

There are many questions and issues which confront singles today - What purpose does my singleness have? Has God really called me to this? What about temptations, my sexuality? How should I live in today’s live in, live with, promiscuous culture? What about the expectations of others and the stigmatizations of society? What about my expectations - my desires and dreams? Maybe there is something wrong with me?

And, we as a congregation - as a community of faith, married or single, need to understand these issues - at the very least, so that we can be supportive and understanding to our brothers and sisters in Christ.

So, this morning we are considering what God has to say about being single.

A few years ago, when I was single, I left work in search of a Steak House. You probably know the kind of restaurant I mean - a steak and potatoes type of place. I just had this tremendous desire to eat steak and I really didn’t care what the cost would be. I was going to treat myself to a great dinner.

I drove for several miles down Ventura Boulevard, passing several restaurants which didn’t look quite right for my gourmet experience. Finally, I found just right place. This was a great restaurant - valet parking - the attendants wore red jackets - dark wood on the walls - people all dressed up - not a chain restaurant, this place had atmosphere. And even better, this place was so good that late at night there was a long line of people waiting for service.

With great anticipation I gave my name to the host and immediately began to feel uncomfortable. Those words, “How many in your party?” and my answer, “One.” Suddenly I realized that everyone else had a date. They were with someone and I wasn’t. It seemed like everyone was staring at me without really looking at me. And, I had to sit there for 30 minutes and wait.

Finally, my time was up - I was released from purgatory - and was ushered back through the restaurant to my table. The room was packed. Every table had at least 2 people - most 4 to 6. In the very center of the room was 1 table with no one sitting at it - my table. And, when the host finally finished leading me past seemingly every group in the room, as I stood there the busboy - very noticeably - removed the three other place settings.

When I finally sat down, and dared to look up, I realized that sitting next to me was a party of at least 15 people - all at one table. And the only opening at their table - an empty spot where no one was sitting - was at the end of their table facing me. So all of them could look directly at me sitting there by myself.

There are times when being single feels like a disease. As if something has gone terribly wrong. Singles are leftovers, failures, people upon whom God has played a cruel trick. And often, we who are married help to reinforce these feelings.

The first truth we want to emphasize is that being single is not a disease - being single is a good thing.

Paul says in verse 7: “I wish that all men were as I myself am - single - and to those who are unmarried, and to widows, that it is good for them to remain single as I am.”

Being single is a good thing - Even though sometimes it may not seem like it. Often we think of singleness as a bad thing - like singles are the left overs.

Do you remember how it was in school. Two kids stood up on front of everyone else and, one by one, began picking people for their team. Slowly the crowd began to get smaller and smaller, until the crowd became a group and the group became a few.

If you were like most of us, you watched nervously as the group dwindled. Inside you shouted, “Pick Me! Oh, pick me! Oh, please pick me.” You didn’t want to be the last person picked - the one the other guy took because he had to.

1 Finally, the dreaded moment came. There you stood with another unathletic-looking person. Neither of you were prime picks. But, if you could be the last person chosen - there was a fifty-fifty chance now, the best odds yet - then at least you would retain a little self-respect.

The choice was made. It wasn’t you. The other person heaved a big sigh of relief, while you lowered your shoulders, bowed your head, and slunk over to the team that had to take you. You were a death blow to the team - a leftover.

Many times singleness feels like this - especially as we look at others - Hripsime and Hampartsoum who just got married. Pailadzou and Torros who have found each other. Everyone has someone.

And the expectations placed on singles are tremendous. Especially in the Armenian community. There is an order of progression for Armenians growing up - especially for guys. First, get a good education (ie. go to the right schools and enter one of the approved Armenian professions - Doctor, lawyer......) - Second, buy a house - then, third, while you are making lots of money, find a good Armenian girl, get married and have lots of Armenian children.

And if all of this doesn’t happen in the time frame that everyone else thinks it should then the little innuendos start. “When are you going to settle down?” Or my favorite, “When are you going to make us grandparents!” ie. “Get married and start a family!”

And all this hurts and sometimes makes us angry. It reinforces the feeling of being alone and the idea that something must be terribly wrong. We as a congregation and culture need to hear this and really try to be more sensitive.

Being single does not mean that you are half a cookie - an Oreo cookie - one half, useless without the cream and the other half. Ultimate fulfillment does not have to come through marriage. Singles are not just people waiting to get married who need a “meechnort” to solve their problems so that they can suddenly become useful in life.

Paul says, being single is really a good thing. And, despite what others may say, I hope every single person here hears what God has to say - being single is a good thing. You’re Okay! In fact, be glad you’re single.

Secondly, Paul says, being single is a gift. - it may not always seem like it. But, it is a gift. And, God gives good gifts, because he knows our hearts, our abilities, and our needs - His gifts are always exactly what we need.

Paul says in verse 32: “One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord. But, one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the women who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband.”

There are three things about singles that sometimes make me jealous - these are tremendous gifts:

Time - Your time is your own. Single people have great flexibility in how they use their time. They can do laundry at 3:00 in the morning. - Go grocery shopping when they want to - stay out as late as they want - go to movies - take classes - devote time to self-improvement. Single people can lavish time on themselves.

Accountability - Single people answer only to themselves and God. They can travel anywhere, anytime - just pick up and go - and they don’t have to carry a million toys and kids paraphernalia with them. They don’t have to check-in at home - or be concerned about how their actions will affect their spouse or kids.

Money - Singles have greater flexibility in money management. They can accumulate and save money faster. They never have to ask anyone else before spending money. They can by a two seater sports car, sports equipment, whatever suits their fancy and use it just for themselves.

When you get married, it is estimated, by those who study these things, that you have 1/2 less time to serve God. If you have a child 1/4 of your time is gone. Two children = 1/2 time - I don’t exactly know how this works out - If you’re married and have 3 kids God owes you time?

The point is this, being single give you great flexibility in how you live your life - how you are able to serve God - how you are able to discover and live in His purpose for your life - His purpose for your life which will bring the greatest satisfaction and fulfillment to you.

Being single provides you with special opportunities to discover your purpose in Christ. Being single is not just a waiting period in which you wait for life to begin. It can and should be a time to serve the Lord fully in the purpose He has created just for you.

This does not often get said. But, it is important to consider the single people who have had a great impact for the Kingdom of God. Maybe each of us could add to this list. But, consider these people: Corrie Ten Boom, Bill Gothard, Mother Teresa, the Apostle Paul, and Jesus Himself. These are not left-overs, purposeless people - these, and many others, are people of great destiny.

Paul says, see your singleness as a gift - use your singleness for God’s purposes - find fulfillment in serving Him.

Three brief thoughts of application - finding fulfillment in God’s purpose for your life.

1. Give all that you have. Surrender every desire, every thought, every ability, and every personality trait to the Lordship of Jesus Christ and allow Him to use them as He sees fit.

2. Give the best that you have. Be willing to surrender that supreme desire - be it for marriage, a career objective, or a lifestyle - to Him to dispose of or reclaim wholly according to His will. Make Him your supreme desire.

3. Do what you can do. Take the talents, abilities, and skills God has bestowed upon you and use them for His glory.

If you will, by the grace and transforming power of God, be faithful to do these things, you will find yourself undistractedly devoted to Him and reap the benefits besides: a whole, complete, satisfying, purpose-filled life in Christ.