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THE ESSENTIAL OF CARING
1 TIMOTHY 5:1-16
Series:  Essentials of the Church - Part Eight

Pastor Stephen Muncherian
February 28, 2010


Have you ever felt like this?

 

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I’m sorry, I didn’t understand your response.  Please press 4 repeatedly.  It won’t do you any good.  But it might make you feel better.

 

The other day I finally had a break with reality - screaming at a computer  voice and repeatedly pounding zero.  “I just want to talk to a real person.”


Doesn’t it seem like customer service only happens because companies are concerned about their bottom line?  Like the only reason they care about us is so we’ll keep buying their product?

 

In this world - where the emphasis is on self - and communication happens at internet speeds - where people are supposedly interested in talking with you but the whole time they’re talking with you they’re texting someone else - ever had that happen? - there’s something hugely valuable about being able to speak to someone face to face and communicate in real time - to genuinely care about the person we’re connected to and have them actually care about us.

 

We’re looking at The Essentials of the Church - what is essential for us as a congregation if we’re to fulfill God’s mission for us of living and sharing the Gospel in the world - beginning right here in Merced.  Together we’ve looked at the essentials of love, faith, Godly men, Godly women, Godly leadership, the Gospel, and commitment.  This morning we’re coming to The Essential of Caring.  Let’s say that together, “The essential of Caring.”  The essential of what?  Caring.

 

If you have your Bibles or want to use the blue Bible below a chair in front of you - please turn with me to 1 Timothy 5 - starting at verse 1.  Paul has been dealing with issues of doctrine and theology - church leadership - here in chapter 5 Paul gets down to the nitty-gritty of our relationships together in the church.  In verses 1 and 2 he lays out the big picture of caring.  Let’s try that, “The big picture of caring.” 

 

1 Timothy 5:1  Do not sharply rebuke an older man, but rather appeal to him as a father, to the younger men as brothers, the older women as mothers, and the younger women as sisters, in all purity. 

 

Have you seen Star Trek Generations?  If you haven’t your cultural education is incomplete.  Go get a copy.  Watch the movie.

 

One of the main issues in Star Trek Generations is the passing of the baton of leadership - Captain James Tiberius Kirk - getting along in years - needing more make-up - more exercise - passing the mantle of leadership on to Jean Luc Picard - the new captain of the Enterprise - leader of the next generation.  The producers of the movie went to great lengths - pre-release publicity - character and plot development - great lengths to make sure that that baton passing was handled well.

 

Relationships between the generations is something we struggle with.  Differing perspectives - attitudes - issues in our lives.  Trying to understand where each of us is coming from.  Struggle happens in the home - parents and children - youth.  Happens where we work - at school.

 

We struggle with these relationships in the midst of an American society where love is selfish - focused on what we gain not on what we can give.  Youthfulness is exalted.  Seniors are abandoned and warehoused in “homes.”  Seniors are seen as those who have outlived their usefulness.


The Church of Euthanasia -
interesting people - Dr. Jack Kevorkian is a saint.  The Church of Euthanasia - advocating death for those who’ve outlived their usefulness - has a motto:  “Save the Planet - Kill Yourself.” (1)

 

Often in the church we don’t handle that baton passing so well.  Often in churches there’s an intergenerational struggle that takes place.  One generation thinks the other generation will never get it.  The other generation thinks the other generation lost it a long time ago.  You decide what generation you belong to. 

 

I have heard it said a number of times by a younger generation that they’re just waiting for the older generation to die off.  I know some day someone will say, “How much longer do we have to wait for Muncherian to get called to the retirement home in they sky?”  Maybe someone is saying that now. 

 

There was conflict in Ephesus where Timothy was pastoring.  We’ve touched on this on past Sundays.  Men - desiring to be thought of as elders - to be seen as older - more mature spiritually - to be held in high regard as leaders in the church - these men were teaching all kinds of ungodly teachings.

 

Timothy - who was probably about 30 - who in that culture was considered young - Timothy who was a half-breed - part Jewish part Greek - Timothy was called on to pastor that church - even to speak against all that false teaching.  These older men were making it really really difficult for Timothy.  Its not a stretch to believe that what was coming against Timothy was pretty personal. 

 

The generations that exist in the fellowship of the church exist to strengthen that fellowship - to strengthen each other - to help us do ministry together.  God designed it that way.

 

Timothy is to treat older men as fathers - with respect for their experience - understanding - and wisdom.  Younger men are treated as brothers.  Older women as mothers.  Younger women as sisters - with no romantic involvement.

 

Praise God that much of what happens here at Creekside happens between generations.  Youth are respected as the church - not as lesser than.  Adults are respected as having been around the block a few times - and that’s a good thing.

 

How we care for each other as generations in Jesus demonstrates the truth of His gospel in our lives.  Let’s grab that together, “How we care for each other as generations in Jesus demonstrates the truth of His gospel in our lives.”

 

Paul - in verses 3 to 15 takes one of these generational relationships - caring for widows - and uses that relationship as an example - as a challenge for us - of how we can care for and honor and love each other.  Walk through this example with me.  Verse 3 - Paul writes - Honor widows who are widows indeed;

 

In Lamentations - Jeremiah looks at Jerusalem - conquered by the Babylonians.  Jeremiah says Jerusalem is like widow.  She was a princess.  She was great among the nations.  Now, she’s empty.  Lonely.  Desolate.  Ruined.  Despised.  She remembers they way it was.  Now she weeps bitterly at night.  She has no one to comfort her.  Her friends have turned on her.  They’ve become her enemies.  No one helps her.  (Lamentations 1:1ff)

 

Widows were probably the most vulnerable group in the congregation.  Younger widows - whom Paul is coming to in verse 11 - younger widows were probably next in line.  When a women lost her husband she lost her social and economic position.  If a widow had no children her precarious position was even worse.

 

There was no life insurance income - no social security - no job opportunities.  It was very easy to become alone and desperate.  Widows basically had nothing.

 

In Acts 6 - we read that the church wrestled with this issue.  How do we help the widows?  Who really needs the help?  The solution they came up with was to make a list of widows.  Resources were allocated so that the needs of the widows could be met.  In return - the widows seem to have been asked to make a commitment to the church - for the remainder of their years they were to be celibate - dedicated only to ministry in the church.  (Acts 6:1-7) 

 

Paul writes, Honor widows who are widows indeed - in other words - this is what qualifies a widow to be on the list.  Paul begins with older widows.  There are five qualifications.

 

Verse 4:  but if any widow has children or grandchildren, they must first learn to practice piety in regard to their own family and to make some return to their parents; for this is acceptable in the sight of God.

 

First qualification - they have to be really on their own. 

 

Before the church should be expected to care for a widow - so far as its possible - its up to the family to take care of their own family.  Its unthinkable - shameful - for a senior in the Body of Christ to be abandoned by their own family.  Children honor their parents - give back to their parents - caring for them when they can’t care for themselves.  That’s what God’s people do.

 

Second qualification - verse 5 - Now she who is a widow indeed and who has been left alone, has fixed her hope on God and continues in entreaties and prayers night and day.  But she who gives herself to wanton pleasure is dead even while she lives.  Prescribe and teach these things as well - tell widows this - so that they may be above reproach.


Qualification number two:  widows are to be pursuing Godliness.

 

When I graduated from high school I spent my first year of college at a junior college.  In those days we used to call junior colleges “high schools with ash trays.”  Things were different back then.  In those days smoking was permitted anywhere.  So all these high school kids - who used to sneak around at high school to smoke - could do it right out in the open.  Along with the smoking there were drugs - alcohol - parties.  It was like high school - the maturity level was about the same.  High school with ash trays.

 

What was sad - was seeing someone in their 30’s or older - sometimes in their 50’s - endlessly taking basic classes at a junior college - acting with maturity of a high schooler - after all those years living with no direction and purpose in life.

 

Long ago in a church really far away there was a man who proudly showed me his “Sunday School 5 Year Attendance Pin.”  When he was a kid he hadn’t missed a day of Sunday School for 5 years.  Think about that.  That’s impressive.

 

At the time he showed me this pin he was in his 70’s.  That sticks in my mind because when he attended our small group Bible study - which he came to because it happened to be in his home because because his wife allowed us to come - during our Bible study it was sadly obvious that he had no understanding of God’s word - no evidence of God’s working in his life.

 

Godliness - like what Paul is writing about here - Godliness doesn’t happen because we get older.  It doesn’t happen because we spend time in and around Christians or because our parents were Christians or we were raised in a Christian home.  It doesn’t happen because we know a lot of things about Christianity.  It doesn’t happen because of our position in the church or the number of years we’ve been attending.

 

A Godly widow - or widower - Paul writes - she fixes her hope on God. 

 

One of the saddest things to hear from a widow or widower - to hear them say when their spouse dies, “I have no purpose in life.”  It may feel like it.  But it just ain’t true.  Fix your hope on God and all of us have purpose.

 

The pursuit of a godly widow is not wanton pleasure - to live in an expensive house - drive around in expensive cars - playing bridge with the ladies - taking trips and cruising the Caribbean - focused on herself.  Widowhood focused on God is a great opportunity - with great purpose and usefulness and healing.  When a widow made a commitment to be put on the list she committed herself to deepening her relationship with God and to ministry for Him.


“Her hope is in God.”  She’s trusted in Jesus as her Savior and she’s faithfully - hopefully - looking forward to eternity with Him.  She has a ministry of prayer.  “Entreaties” - in Greek means prayers for specific issues.  “Prayers”  in Greek has to do with worship - a heart open to God and continually before Him in prayer.  She knows the needs of the congregation.  She’s involved in people’s lives.

 

How incredibly valuable are those that we of the younger generation can look up to as an example of Godliness.  That out of their spiritual maturity will care for us.

 

So many younger women would love to have a confidant to pray with them.  An older sister to look to as an example of Godly womanhood.  Younger men would love to look to an older women as a mother - someone to pray for them and encourage them.  To have an older man to look up to as an example of Godliness.

 

Godliness is produced in us by the Holy Spirit as we learn to live in daily - total - consistent - obedient - unbroken fellowship and continued dependence on God.  Godliness comes as we allow God to work in us - through us - changing us to be more and more like Jesus - reflecting His character as we do life.

 

Godliness comes from a serious examination of God’s word - meditation - allowing the Holy Spirit to show us from His word where we need to change.  That means Bible study - one thing studies - that are regular - purposeful - not just something we do when we feel like it.  As we lay hold of God’s word - pretty soon - with the working of the Holy Spirit - God’s word lays hold of us.  Grabs on and begins to change us from the inside out.

 

All of which doesn’t change just because we’re a widow or widower.

 

Third qualification - verse 9.  We’re going to come back to verse 8 in a bit.  But, going on with Paul’s qualifications - verse 9 - A widow is to be put on the list only if she is not less than sixty years old,

 

In those days generally people didn’t live to be 70 or 80.  The idea is that a widow didn’t have much time left.  But, in the time she had,  she was to be devoted to ministry.

 

Fourth qualification - having been the wife of one man - meaning that she is a one-man woman.

 

Divorce happens.  Death happens.  She may have been married more than once.  But, this woman - when married - was faithful and supportive of her husband.

 

Fifth - verse 10 - having a reputation for good works.

 

Paul gives a description of what that means:  if she has brought up children - which speaks of her being a godly mother.  if she has shown hospitality to strangers, if she has washed the saints’ feet.

 

In those days people wore sandals not shoes.  When someone showed up at the house someone had to wash their feet - a dirty and disgusting job.  It says a lot about the character of a woman if she was known to be willing to do this.

 

Going on - if she has assisted those in distress, and if she has devoted herself to every good work.

 

Five qualifications for widows to be put on the list.  They need to be really alone.  They need to be women of God.  At least 60 years old.  Faithful to her husband.  And, fifth - having a reputation for good works.

 

In contrast, some widows were not to be supported.  Verse 11:  But refuse to put younger widows on the list, for when they feel sensual desires in disregard of Christ, they want to get married, thus incurring condemnation, because they have set aside their previous pledge.

 

Younger widows had the possibility of marriage.  If they got married it meant that they had to break their promise to remain in celibate ministry in the church.  Worse - people would start to talk.  “She only wanted our help so she could find a husband.”

 

Verse 13:  At the same time they also learn to be idle, as they go around from house to house and not merely idle, but also gossips and busybodies, talking about things not proper to mention.

 

Young women - with all kinds of time on their hands - supported by the church - we’re destined to get themselves into trouble.

 

Verse 14:  Therefore - because it way easy for a younger widow to get herself in trouble - Therefore I want younger widows to get married, bear children, keep house, and give the enemy no occasion for reproach; for some have already turned aside to follow Satan.

 

These last two verses could really get some people upset.  Keep in mind what Paul is getting at.  Satan loves to get us focused on any other thing than God and what God has for us.  Paul is trying to help younger widows avoid falling into Satan’s hands.  So, rather than getting on a list as a widow and getting into trouble, Paul says get married.  Get yourself into the kind of relationship and responsibility that’s available to you and that’s going to keep you focused on what God has for you and keep you living for God.

 

Paul’s summary is in verse 16:  If any woman who is a believer has dependent widows, she must assist them and the church must not be burdened, so that it may assist those who are widows indeed.

 

Take personal responsibility to care for those who need to be cared for.


Thinking this through practically for us today, I’d like to go back to the verse we skipped - verse 8.  Paul writes, But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. 

 

That’s Paul’s challenge to the church.  His point of application - asking us to examine our lives.  If we don’t have this kind of caring relationship then how can we say we’re Christians?  That’s a harsh verse to hear.  But it is brutally straightforward and honest.  Each of us is personally responsible for caring. 

 

Let me suggest two thoughts of application.

 

First:  The care of widows was purposeful and planned.

 

As a ministry it was organized - with qualifications and expectations - it had a membership - a budget - a committee to oversee it.  What Debbie heads up with benevolence is huge.  Its crucial.

 

When I visit with people I see cards that were sent from people in he congregation.  I hear about phone calls that were made.  Small works of service and help that are done behind the scenes that very few people know about.  People are grateful for our prayers - for financial and food assistance - clothing - furniture - and other things shared with those in need.


There’s also a
bigger picture here that we saw in verses 1 and 2.  Paul’s talking about all our relationships together.  Respecting older men.  Seeing younger men as brothers - younger women as sisters - older women as mothers.   That kind of intergenerational - interpersonal - caring needs to be purposeful and planned.  It doesn’t just happen naturally.  Certainly no in the world around us.

 

There are seniors in our congregation that purposefully use our fellowship after services or our potlucks - they use that time to target young people - to speak with them - to get to know them.  It is so great to see youth involved in ministry around here - even ministering to seniors.

 

Look at the generations that are up together on Sundays - in the booth in the back - up here singing - playing instruments.  Older people and younger people - you can decide which you are.  But doing all that together.

 

That’s what Paul is talking about - a purposeful - planned effort to care for - to honor - to respect - others in the Body of Christ.  Not just pastors.  But all of us as siblings in Jesus.  Everyone has this opportunity to choose to be in these kinds of caring relationships.  Church you are doing God’s ministry when you genuinely care for one another - when you “provide for your own” in God’s “household.”  Generations serving side by side in God’s ministry. 

 

Last thought - stay with me - Paul’s final challenge - if we don’t care for one another then we deny our faith.  How we care for each other as generations in Jesus demonstrates the truth of His gospel in our lives.

 

One night in June 1944, General Dwight Eisenhower was walking the beaches of England - alone with his thoughts.  Occasionally he would stop and stare across the dark waters of the English Channel toward the coast of France where the Nazi armies had built a military fortress.  The next dawn would see hundreds of allied ships and thousands of soldiers storm that coast.  Eisenhower knew that for many of those soldiers it would be their last morning.

 

As he walked along he came across an American private - standing by himself - also staring across the channel.  The General asked him what he was thinking about.  “Home,” came the reply.  The Supreme Commander of the Allied Forces suggested that they walk together - that perhaps they would draw confidence from each other’s company.  So the two men walked on - one older - one younger - one experienced in the ways of war - the other inexperienced - but each man drawing strength from the other. (2)

 

It would be so easy to pat ourselves on the back and miss the challenge Paul gives us to continue putting our faith in action.  To know that there are still others who need us to walk with them through life.  That may be a stretch.  Not everyone in need of caring is easy to care for.


Jesus was overwhelmed with compassion whenever He came across people who were sick and blind and oppressed and helpless.  He entered into their pain - was moved to action - gave comfort and healing.  Jesus - who impacted His society with God’s love - called on His disciples to do the same. (John 13:25)

 

That really is the bottom line.  The purpose of the Church is to penetrate the world with the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  No where is the reality of the Gospel more clearly demonstrated than when the followers of Jesus Christ express the love of God to others - within the congregation - and to those around us who need to know Jesus’ love.

 

When we care for others we show Jesus to the world.

 

 

 

________________________

1. www.churchofeuthanasia.org

2. Phil Downer, Eternal Impact

 

Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE ®, Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by the Lockman Foundation.  Used by permission.