Do you remember the images? The white truck driver, Reginald Denny - at the corner of Normandie and Florence - being beaten. Korean shop owners - carrying rifles and patrolling the roofs of their shops. Buildings on fire everywhere. Looters carrying merchandise out of stores in Hollywood while being broadcast live from television news helicopters.

And Rodney King - not the best spokesperson for the African-American community. On that night - March 3, 1991 - he was apprehended after leading police on a long car chase. Since the riots, he’s been convicted for spousal abuse, hit and run driving, drunken driving, probation violation.

In the middle of all of this. Rodney King spoke six words that have stuck in people’s minds - ironic words - hopeful words - impossible words - “Can’t we all just get along?”

That’s our theme this morning: Getting along in our relationships with others.

I invite you to turn with me to Colossians 3. We’re going to read from 3:18 to 4:1 and look at what the Apostle Paul says about our relationships: How we can get along with others. While we’re reading, I’d like you to keep 3 words in mind: Fitting, Pleasing, and Fearing.

Colossians 3:18: “Wives be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. Slaves, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not with eye-service, as men-pleasers, but in singleness of heart, fearing the Lord. Whatever your task, work heartily, as serving the Lord and not men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward; you are serving the Lord Christ. For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality. Masters, treat your slaves justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven.”

There are three pairs of relationships that Paul focuses on - and these are relevant to most of the relationships we find ourselves in - and in which we need to get along with people.

1. MARITAL RELATIONSHIPS (3:18,19)

Paul writes, “Wives, be subject to your husbands....” Over the years those words have meant warfare. Read this verse and many women get very angry - justifiably. Many wrong things have been done in the name of “submission.” Submission often means a tug-of-war over who is in control of our homes.

Once when Mark Twain was lecturing in Utah, a Mormon acquaintance argued with him on the subject of polygamy. After a long and rather heated debate, the Mormon finally asked, "Can you find for me a single passage of Scripture which forbids polygamy?"

"Certainly," replied Twain. "No man can serve two masters."

Submission - as Paul writes of it - means that the wife is to defer - or yield to - her husband - to respect his authority in the home. To get behind him and support him in his role of leadership in the home.

The other side of this is that husbands need to be worthy of that respect.

Paul writes, “Husbands, love your wives - don’t talk harshly to them.”

Husbands - its not our role to demand submission - to assert our rights - to criticize with harsh and bitter cutting words to enforce our authority. Leadership in the home is earned - Paul says - when husbands learn to honor - to value - to respect - to guard - to protect - to delight in their wives.

And this - Paul writes - is “Fitting in the Lord.” It “fits” the example of love that we’ve been given in Jesus Christ - what God has shown us about true submission and love.

Jesus - in the Garden of Gethsemane - praying with blood sweating from His pores - looking forward to His crucifixion - praying, “Not My will, but Thine be done.” - deferring to the authority of the Father. How many wives are willing to act this way? Jesus, who loved the church so much that He sacrificially gave His life for us. How many husbands are willing to act this way?

This is the “fitting” way that we are to treat each other.

There was a couple that had been married for 15 years when they began having a lot of disagreements. They were committed to making their marriage work and agreed on an idea that the wife had. For one month they planned to drop notes into two "fault" boxes - one “fault box” for the husband and one “fault box” for the wife. The notes would be a way to let the other one know about all these daily irritations.

The wife was diligent in her efforts and approach - on and on she went writing notes: "leaving the top off the jam jar" - “wet towels on the shower floor" - "dirty clothes not in hamper" - on and on until the end of the month.

After dinner, at the end of the month, they exchanged boxes. The husband reflected on what he had done wrong. Then the wife opened her box and began reading. All the notes, that the husband had written, said the same thing. The message on each slip was, "I love you!"

Second, Paul writes about our:

2. FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS (3:20,21)

Verse 20: “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.”

The reason they’re to be obedient is not because we as parents demand it - but because it “pleases” God. The greater weight of responsibility is on the parent - teaching our children to do instinctively what pleases God.

Paul writes about out parental responsibility in verse 21: “Fathers - or parents - do not provoke your children, so that they become discouraged” - so they turn from pleasing God.

I once heard of a father who was in the military and who would line up his children every morning and give them orders. Once as he was giving them their orders for the day he asked, “Any questions?” His son put up his hand and asked, “How do you get out of this outfit?”

How do we provoke our children to rebel against God?

We can ignore them - being busy with everything else but them - so they feel unimportant. And what we teach them about God - their Heavenly Father - is that like their earthly parents - God’s too busy running creation to think about them. God is detached from where they live their lives. So why seek to understand and learn about God? Or, follow His instructions?

We can provoke our children by pampering them - giving them everything they want - whether they need it or not - indulge them. And we teach them that God is some sort of Santa Claus - a God who exists to serve us - who grants wishes and demands nothing - no commitment - no boundaries - no obedience. So when God doesn’t answer their prayers in the way they want its natural that they should turn against God.

We can provoke our children by insulting them - calling them names and putting them down - subtly telling them that they’re worthless. And they may come to question why God should ever love and accept them. Or, why they should ever love and accept God.

Children and parents - family relationships - we are to treat our children - and live before them - in a way that teaches them to please God. And the result - we pray - will be obedience to us. And most importantly - a life of obedience to God.

The third area of interpersonal relationships is

3. WORK RELATIONSHIPS (3:22-4:1)

The relationships we have where we’re either under the authority of someone else - or we have authority over someone.

Just a few years back, employers felt a responsibility towards their employees. There was a realization that they were providing a job. And a job meant an income - support for a family - food on the table - a roof overhead - the necessities of life.

Just a few years back, employees felt a responsibility towards their employees - to do quality work - to take pride in what was produced - to do their best for the company. An employee felt gratitude for having a job.

Today the bottom line motivation in business is greed. Employers want more production and more profit from their employees for less pay and fewer benefits. Employees want more pay and greater benefits for less work. And who cares if the company goes under. The bottom line is what I get - not what I give.

In verse 22, Paul writes, “Slaves - or today we might say - employees - in all things obey those who are your earthly masters, not with eye-service, as those who merely please men, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord.”

Ray Stedman once told a story about a missionary in Africa who was responsible for getting nationals - natives - in his area to do certain jobs. The missionary discovered that the nationals were really lazy and would only work when he was actually watching them. When he left they would stop work and do nothing until he returned.

This missionary had a glass eye, and one day when his eye was irritating him he took it out and put it on a tree stump. When he returned he found that everybody was still working because the “eye,” as they thought, was watching them the whole time he was away. That’s what Paul means here by “eye-service.” Working only when the boss is watching.

Paul’s point is very clear - we are to work - not focused on serving men - but focused on serving the Lord. Our employer may pay our salary - but ultimately we work for God - who sees our heart.

Then Paul writes in 4:1, that masters - employers - are to treat their slaves “justly and fairly, knowing that they too have a Master in Heaven.”

In Paul’s day, ½ of the inhabitants of the Roman Empire were slaves to the other half. Masters had absolute authority over their slaves who had no rights. Slaves were considered to be like animated tools. Yet, imagine what that must have been like - being in a church service - with masters and slaves sitting side by side worshipping God. That’s hard to imagine.

The only way it could be like that would be if both the masters and slaves worked with reverence for God - a “fear” of the God - who is the ultimate judge of our lives - and how we treat each other - and what we produce.

Do you remember the three words I asked you to keep in mind? Fitting, Pleasing, and Fearing.

Husbands and wives - are to live in a way that is “fitting” - fits the example of Godly submission and love.

Families - parents - are to live in a way that is “pleasing” to God and motivates our children to “please” God.

Employers and employees - work “fearing” God - with reverence for the one who is the ultimate appraiser of our labors.

The bottom line basic practical principle is this: When dealing with people - Remember the Lord.

Without our eyes on Jesus we are sinful and selfish people. Apart from Him we bite and devour each other.

With Him - we can love and encourage each other - prompting each other to live in an obedient and growing relationship with Him - serving side by side - regardless of our position in life - glorifying Him in our relationships.