Today we're going on in our look at marriage.  

What we've been looking at is the bottom line stuff of male female relationships and what makes marriage work or not work.  Our desire - looking at marriage - is to see more clearly God's design for marriage - and to see more clearly from God's word how our marriages can keep getting better.  We've been exploring three cycles that can describe where we are in our relationship as husband and wife.

Cycle number one is the Weakening Cycle - which is a description of what we struggle with in our marriages.  We saw this cycle when we looked at the first three chapters of Genesis - especially Genesis 3:16 - God explaining the consequences of sin to Eve - in Genesis 3:16 - God nails the bottom line of our husband wife struggle.  God says to Eve, "yet your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."  Literally - the Hebrew has this idea:  "Your desire is going to be to control your husband.  And He is going to exercise control over you."

What's gone wrong with the honeymoon.  Without love - Adam protecting Eve from the serpent - Eve insecure - reacts without respect for Adam - takes leadership away from Adam who's let her down - desires to control her husband - and Adam - not respected by Eve - because she's taken the role of protect and provide away from Adam - Adam reacts without love towards Eve.  Adam demanding to exercise control over Eve.  Eve desiring to control her husband.

For those that were with us does that sound familiar?

The second cycle we looked at is the Energizing Cycle.  We looked at this cycle when we looked at Ephesians 5 - some very practical things that we can do as husbands and wives to cut-off the destruction of the weakening cycle and get us moving forward together as husbands and wives.

The number one need of a man is what?  Respect.  The number one drive of a man is what?  to provide and protect.  As a husband is giving himself to do that providing and protecting thing - he needs the unconditional respect of his wife.

The number one need of a woman is what?  Love.  She desires love - especially love that fosters a feeling of relational security.  Security coming from a husband who will be there for her in the way she needs him to be there for her - unconditionally loving her.  That love provides the protection she needs to feel - what allows her to feel secure.

Looking at the Energizing Cycle.  As the husband loves his wife it motivates her to respect him which motivates him to love her.  That energizes our marriage - energizes us to do what God has purposed and enabled us to do as a married couple.

When we looked at Ephesians 5 we saw some very practical ways that both husband and wife can work together or alone to make that happen.  We also saw that God really puts the weight of responsibility for all this on the husband.  The husband needs to get the cycle started.

We husbands are called to follow the example of Jesus.  We're called to sacrificial headship towards our wives.  Marriage isn't about getting our spouse to conform to our needs or grousing when they fall short - and then we'll love them.  Those are conditions placed on love.  That's the Weakening Cycle.

Jesus didn't wait until we we're lovable to love us unconditionally - sacrificially - on the cross.  Sacrificial headship means the we husbands go first - we risk everything - rejection - disrespect -  to love our wives.

That all is the basis of the third cycle we looked at - briefly last Sunday - the Rewarding Cycle - our marriages humming along - firing on all eight cylinders - which happens as we learn to express unconditional love towards each other.

All of which is not easy.  Amen?  Someone said, "Marriage teaches you loyalty, forbearance, self-restraint, meekness and a lot of other qualities you wouldn't need if you stayed single."

Where we'd like to focus this morning is on that third cycle - the rewarding cycle - to focus together on unconditional love and how we can go there together.  To do that I'd like to have you turn with me to the book of Hosea.  Hosea is a little to the right of half way through the Bible.  In the Old Testament - Ezekiel, Daniel, Hosea, Joel, Amos Obadiah.  In my Bible its on page 1,252.

We're going to come to Hosea chapter 3.  But before we get there we need to back up to chapter 1 - starting at verse 1 - and understand together the big picture of what's going on.  Let's say that together, "The big picture."

Hosea 1 - verse 1:  The word of the Lord which came to Hosea the son of Beeri, during the days of Uzziah, Jotham, Ahaz and Hezekiah, kings of Judah, and during the days of Jeroboam the son of Joash, king of Israel.

Let's pause.  There's a ton of information here we need to grab on to.

You all remember Hezekiah.  Remember him?  Uzziah, Jotham, Ahaz, and Hezekiah were all kings of Judah - the southern kingdom.  Of the four kings which one led God's people away from God?  Ahaz.  Ahaz was perverse - immoral.  If there was a way to sin against God Ahaz did it and did it well.

Hezekiah was a good king.  Remember this?  180 degree turn around from his father Ahaz.  Cleaned out whatever wasn't of God.  Led God's people back to God.

Point being that during the days of Hosea - Judah - the southern kingdom - was hanging on spiritually.  Overall they were doing okay in their relationship with God.  Not great.  But okay.

In the northern kingdom - Israel - where Hosea was - the opposite was going on.  Jeroboam was an evil king - perverse - ungodly.  What follows after the reign of Jeroboam - for Israel - is a slide into disaster.  Of the kings that come next.  They all were evil.  Kings became kings by assassination.  Reigns were generally very short. 

Finally in 732 BC - the Assyrians - remember them?  Brutal guys - a whole nation focused on war and conquest that made the Klingons look like a bunch of flower children - in 732 the Assyrians under Tiglath-pileser III came and carved up Israel - the northern kingdom where Hosea was.  Finally in 722 Shalmaneser V - comes and hauls God's people off into captivity in Assyria - ending the sovereignty of Israel as a nation.  All of which was God's judgment on the ungodliness of His people.

Point being that Hosea was living through all that.

By giving us the names of these kings we know where Hosea fit into that time of history.  Under Jeroboam and Uzziah - the kings that were on the throne when Hosea got started - under Jeroboam and Uzziah there was great prosperity.  The borders of Israel and Judah were extended almost to where they were under David and Solomon.  Luxuries were common.  Life was good.

But what was pleasing to the people wasn't pleasing to God.  In prosperity the people had no time - no place - for God.  Beneath the surface of Disneyland was a growing tide of perversity - immorality - ungodliness - unrest - people treating other people lower than dirt - the fabric of society coming apart at the seams.  Does that sound familiar?

God had sent them prophets like Jonah and Amos.  In the south Isaiah and Micah were around.  But God's people kept rejecting God and God's love for them.  Until the Assyrians rolled over Israel and hauled God's people off into captivity.

Hosea saw all that.  Was called by God as a prophet calling God's people back to God.

One other thing we need to know.  Hosea's name means "salvation."  Its closely related to the names Joshua and Jesus.  Hosea was known as "the love prophet."  That's really true.  In this book Hosea represents God.  What were going to see - is that while God's people are rejecting God - we're going to see through Hosea - God's unconditional love - His persistent love - for His people who are anything but lovable.

Let's go on:  Hosea 1 - verse 2:  When the Lord first spoke through Hosea, the Lord said to Hosea, "Go, take to yourself a wife of harlotry and have children of harlotry; for the land commits flagrant harlotry, forsaking the Lord."

We're together on the symbolism.  Right?  Hosea represents God.  His wife is a prostitute - who represents God's people - who are out committing spiritual adultery with other gods and the stuff of the world.  The children are the result of that sin.

God speaks to Hosea and says, "Go marry a prostitute."   Can you imagine - with a real time illustration like this - can you imagine the layers of sin that God was trying to break through to get the attention of His people?

Verse 3:  So he - Hosea - went and took Gomer the daughter of Diblaim, and she conceived and bore him a son.  And the Lord said to him, "Name him Jezreel - which means "God scatters." - for yet a little while, and I will punish the house of Jehu for the bloodshed of Jezreel - which is a bit of history for another time - and I will put an end to the kingdom of the house of Israel.  On that day I will break the bow of Israel in the valley of Jezreel."

Which happened - right?  Israel hauled off to Assyria.  God scatters.

Verse 6:  Then she - Gomer - conceived again and gave birth to a daughter.  And the Lord said to him - Hosea - "Name her Lo-ruhamah - which means "not pitied" - for I will no longer have compassion - pity - on the house of Israel, that I would ever forgive them.  But I will have compassion on the house of Judah - that was doing sort of better spiritually - and deliver them by the Lord their God, and will not deliver them by bow, sword, battle, horses or horsemen."  When she had weaned Lo-ruhamah, she conceived and gave birth to a son.  And the Lord said, "Name him Lo-ammi - which means "not my people" - for you are not My people and I am not your God."

Hosea and Gomer have children together.  Each child is given a name - by God - that shows where the relationship of God and His people have gone - where its going - because of the spiritual adultery of God's people.

These are harsh names.  Imagine showing up a school.  "What's your name?"  "God scatters."  "Do your parents hate you or what?"  Imagine what kind of teasing did these kids got.  Brutal.  There's "not pitied."  Her dad is that wacko prophet dude.  Her mother's a prostitute.

When people saw the child.  When they heard the name.  They should have understood.  Should have been appalled at where sin had taken them in their relationship with God.  Should have turned back to God.

But God's people persisted in sin.  They continued to reject God's love.  And God gave them over to the reality of what it meant for them to not be His people - the reality of what it meant for them to live apart from the blessings of a covenant relationship with God.

Verse 10:  Yet - meaning even though my people continue to reject me - even thought they're going to get hauled off into captivity - scattered over the face of the earth - yet - this is what will happen - this is what I - God - am going to do for My people - Yet the number of the sons of Israel will be like the sand of the sea, which cannot be measured or numbered; and in the place where it is said to them "You are not My people," it will be said to them, "You are the sons of the living God."  And the sons of Judah and the sons of Israel - both the southern and northern kingdoms - will be gathered together - two kingdoms separated and scattered over the face of the earth - both will be united together again. - and they will appoint for themselves one leader - meaning one ruler - one government - over both kingdoms - and they will go up from the land - back on the land I gave them - for great will be the day of Jezreel.

Grab that.  Not until May 14, 1948 - the independence of the State of  Israel - 2,669 years after the fall of the southern kingdom of Judah - not until May 1948 was it possible to speak of a truly autonomous - undivided - nation of Israel - on the land promised by God - in the way that God prophesied through Hosea.  God drawing His people back to Himself.  Reestablishing them as a nation - as His people.  God never giving up on His commitment to His people.

That's unconditional - persistent - love.  God loving His people - not because His people deserve it.  But, because God chooses to love them. 

Verses 10 and 11 - here in chapter one - in the Hebrew text verses 10 and 11 are actually the beginning of chapter two.  Chapter two expands on this reality of the disaster of God's people removing themselves from their covenant relationship with God - and how greatly God loves His people.  God choosing to love His people.

Let me give you just a taste of this.  Two examples to help us cement in our minds this reality of unconditional love.  Look with me down at chapter two - verse 19 - God speaking to His people of what He - God - is going to do for them.  Verse 19:  "I will betroth you to Me forever.  Yes, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and in justice, in lovingkindness and in compassion, and in faithfulness.  Then you will know the Lord."

The name "Lord" here translates the Hebrew "Yahweh" - the name of God that describes God as always existing - the eternal creating God.  And yet its the name of God that describes His intimate saving relationship with His people.  The God who saves His people - pulls them out of Egypt - brings them back from exile - redeems them from sin.

The eternal God of creation - who could have justifiably spoken one word and none of this would exist - poof - gone - no more unfaithful people.  God - takes His people - who have prostituted themselves with every known form of perversity - and makes them to be righteous - made right before Him as a virgin bride - and justified - set free from condemnation for their sin - and He - God - commits Himself to faithfully pouring out his love and compassion on them - forever.

Go down to verse 23:  "I will sow her for Myself in the land. I will also have compassion on her who had not obtained compassion, and I will say to those who were not My people, 'You are My People!'  And they will say, 'You are my God!.""  

God here is the Hebrew "Elohim" which describes God's divine power.  Nothing in creation - not even guys like Tiglath-pileser king of Assyria or Adolf Hitler dictator of Nazi Germany or Ahmadinejad President of Iran - is going to keep the Almighty God from reestablishing His people in the land that He's promised them.

Are we together?  Unconditional love is the choice to love - regardless.  And committing everything we are to acting on that choice to love.  Let's say that together, "Unconditional love is the choice to love... regardless.  And, committing everything we are to acting on that choice to love."

That's the background to chapter 3.

Chapter 3 - verse 1:  Then - after the wedding - the kids - and Gomer leaving Hosea and living as a prostitute again - then the Lord said to me - Hosea - "Go again, love a woman who is loved by her husband, yet and adulteress, even as the Lord loves the sons of Israel, though they turn to other gods and love raisin cakes."  So I bought her for myself for fifteen shekels of silver and a homer and a half of barley.

Chapter 3 is "A homer for Gomer."  Let's say that together, "A homer for Gomer."  We're not talking baseball.  We're talking the cost of unconditional love.

What would this be like?  Buying back your wife who's out selling herself as a prostitute?  Bidding for her at a public auction?  Buying her back from slavery to her sin?  Humbling?  Sacrificial?  Sacrificially setting aside our pride and our prerogative to reject her?  This is an amazing picture of God purchasing us - redeeming us - buying us back from our sins - in Jesus Christ - on the cross - the cost of unconditional love.  

Verse 3:  Then I - Hosea - said to her - Gomer - God speaking to His people - "You shall stay with me for many days.  You shall not play the harlot, nor shall you have a man; so I will also be toward you."  For the sons of Israel will remain for many days without a king or prince, without sacrifice or sacred pillar and without ephod or household idols.  Afterward the sons of Israel will return and seek the Lord their God and David their king; and they will come trembling to the Lord and to His goodness in the last days.

Do you hear God pleading with His people?  "Seek Me.  Come to Me.  Dwell with Me.  Live in the goodness of relationship with Me.  Forever."

Turn forward with me to Ephesians 5 - to the verse we skipped over last Sunday.  Ephesians 5 - verse 32.  Remember in Ephesians 5 - the verses we looked at - Paul is writing about marriage.  That whole discussion about marriage - in the larger picture of Ephesians 5 - that whole discussion about marriage is really a discussion about Jesus' relationship with His Church.

Ephesians 5 - verse 32:  This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.

The mystery begins in Genesis.  After the fall - the honeymoon is over - God is describing the disastrous effects of sin - in the same conversation when God speaks to Eve about the struggle we have between husbands and wives - Genesis 3:16 - back in verse 15 God speaks to the serpent - to Satan - God says, "I will put enmity between you and the woman - Eve - and between your seed - your descendants - and her seed - her descendants - He shall bruise you on the head and you shall bruise him on the heel."  (Genesis 3:15)

There's going to be ongoing warfare between Satan and His minions and God's people.  But God's people will be victorious.  (Romans 16:20)  How - we're not told.  Its a mystery. 

God goes on through history - through Scripture - with the Passover Lamb and the whole Old Covenant sacrificial system - clues to help us understand the mystery - glimpses of what He's about doing.

Isaiah - inspired by God - Isaiah writes:  "Surely our griefs He Himself bore, and our sorrows He carried...He was pierced through for our transgressions...By His scourging we are healed...the Lord has caused the iniquity of us all to fall on Him."  (Isaiah 53:4-6)  Those are clues.

Ezekiel writes of God's people - Israel.  "And I will give them one heart, and put a new spirit within them.  And I will take the heart of stone out of their flesh and give them a heart of flesh, that they may walk in My statutes and keep My ordinances and do them.  Then they will be My people, and I shall be their God."  (Ezekiel 11:19,20)

Joel writing of the day when God delivers His people - Joel writes, "It will come about after this that I will pour out My Spirit on all mankind; and your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions.  Even on the male and female servants I will pour out My Spirit in those days."  (Joel 2:28,29)

God works in mysterious what?  ways.  There's a mystery that flows through Scripture - flows through history - God at work.  God unconditionally - by choice - pursuing His people through ages.  When we see Jesus - God Himself dwelling with us - dying for us - the mystery is revealed.  When we trust Jesus as the Savior - that mystery is revealed to us - personally.

Paul writes that this mystery is great.  Its profound.  Its beyond the scope of what we can get minds around.  Each of us - our sins forgiven - restored to righteousness - each of us having an intimate relationship - oneness - with God through Jesus Christ.  Relating to each other as the Church.  That's astounding.  Amen?

Paul goes on to say - Ephesians 5:33 - "Nevertheless"  Meaning - don't forget what I wrote about husbands and wives.  Which is what we looked at last Sunday.  Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.

The kind of unconditional love - the pursuit of God for His people - for Israel - for the Church - that's the unconditional love that needs to exist between a husband and a wife.  Love that initiates with God - that initiates with the husband through sacrificial headship - that's poured out - even at great cost to the one who loves.

In order to help us hold on to that reality of unconditional love as we head out of here into the day to day stuff of life I'd like to show you a short video clip.  As you're watching this think about unconditional love.

(video:  "The Wounded Bride")

How wounded is the bride?  How wounded are we?

There are rival gods out there - a tremendous number of voices and words coming into our minds all the time - repeatedly offerring us protection and security - other philosophies - points of view - offers being made to us from other sources - that we really can't trust God fully with our lives.  Voices that tempt us to fornicate with our egos - our pride - our self will.  Satan would love to use any or all of that to get our focus off of God.  To flirt with the sins of this world rather than maintaining our covenant with God.

We are so wounded by our sin.  By our spiritual adultery.

And yet God loves us - intensely - deeply.  Desires to sacrificially pour out His love on us - even die for us.  To take the burdens off our shoulders.  To bring peace to our hearts.  To establish us and bless us and watch out for us and heal us and care for us and guide and lead us through life into eternity with Him.  To live in a deepening relationship with us - for each of us to live in oneness with Him and with each other.  God chooses to pursues us - wounded as we are by sin - to love us unconditionally. 

Let me leave you with two thoughts.  How all this may apply to you.

First:  Marriage is a whole larger than the trivial fallen in lust - have sex - get married - selfishness that we see happening around us in the world - and even in the church.  Marriage illustrates the reality of God's unconditional love for His people - us.  May we realize the awesomeness of what God calls us to be a part of and so cherish the opportunity.

Second:  What choice will you make?  Each of us has a choice of how we will love others - who like us have been wounded by sin.  Here in this congregation.  In our homes.  In our marriages.  Will we love unconditionally?  May God give us the strength - as we begin to realize how greatly He loves us - may He give us the strength to love others as we have been loved.

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Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE (R), Copyright (C) 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by the Lockman Foundation.  Used by permission.