There are times when all of us would like to level a few choice words at someone. People, who we know for sure, really do deserve to be put in their place. Words such as, “If Moses had known anyone like you, there would have been another commandment.”

Or, “You could make a fortune renting your head out as a balloon.”

Or, “If brains were dynamite, you wouldn’t have enough to blow your nose.”

There was a pastor who - as he stood up to preach one Sunday - he found a note taped to the pulpit. Scrawled in large red letters was the word "FOOL." The pastor looked at the note and said, “I’ve received a lot of critical notes that were unsigned. This is the first time I’ve received a signature and no note.”

Our focus this morning is on getting along with people who wrong us.”

I suspect that if we went around the room this morning many of you could share personal examples - hurts - from the actions or words of a brother or sister in Christ. In 18 plus years of ministry I’ve experienced some very public - hurtful - ministry damaging - statements and actions leveled against me.

If you’ve been around churches for very long you know that there are people who seem to think that they have the spiritual gift of “conflict” or “inflicting pain” on others. One church I know of was started because someone in church leadership punched out a another leader in the church. So off went a group of very “righteous” brethren and sistren to start a new ministry. There was a church in the Midwest where the Deacon’s meeting was concluded with one Deacon shooting another Deacon.

God’s people treating God’s people in an ungodly way. It hurts. It damages our testimony - erects walls between us - drives people away from our Savior - invades our homes - damages our marriage - turns our kids away from the church. How do we get along with people who’s actions are ungodly and in our face? How do we move forward without killing each other?

Look with me at what Paul writes. Romans 12 - starting at verse 14: Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.

Let’s pause here and make two observations. First, as Paul begins in verse 14: “bless those who persecute you” he’s writing about our relationships in the church.

If you’ve been with us the last two Sundays as we’ve been looking at Paul’s teaching here in Romans 12 - our series “Can We All Get Along?” - Paul has tackled two really difficult church issues. First - getting along together in worship - understanding that God by His mercy allows us the privilege of worshipping Him. Second - getting along while serving together in the church - understanding that only by God’s grace do we have the privilege of serving Him. All dealing with our relationships together in the church. Verse 14 continues that teaching.

Second observation - notice that Paul writes to the persecutees not the persecutors. He’s writing to those of us who are on the receiving end of ungodly behavior. We’re trying to live in obedience to God and someone comes after us. Paul is showing us that we - the persecutees - have a choice as to how we respond to those who treat us wrongly. “To bless or not to bless. That is the question.”

There’s a story about two hunters who went to Alaska. They wanted to hunt deer way out in the wilderness. They hired a pilot to take them out to a really remote area. They flew out there - a trip that took several hours - and the pilot landed the plane - one of those pontoon planes - he landed the plane on the lake. The hunters unloaded their gear. Made arrangements to be picked up in one week. And so, off flew the pilot and the two hunters made camp and then went out to kill Bambi.

A week later the pilot returned and there were the two hunters ready to go. They’d had a really good week of hunting. They both had a huge buck - one buck for each hunter - that they wanted to take home with them.

The pilot looked at those two huge bucks and he said, “We’ll never be able to take off with those. With the gear and us they just weigh too much.”

“Oh no,” said the hunters. “It’ll be okay. Last year we were up here and we had two bucks that were bigger than these and the pilot let us take them.”

Back and forth went the argument. The pilot insisting the bucks were too heavy. The hunters insisting that the pilot last year had let them take two even larger bucks. Finally the pilot gave in. They taxied out and tried to take off. Sure enough they got a little bit airborne before the plane crashed into the other side of the lake.

The pilot was furious. He said, “I thought you said the pilot last year took off with the two bucks.”

“Oh no,” said the hunters. “He let us take the bucks. You actually made it farther than he did.”

Remember the title of today’s message? “The Buck Stops Here.”

President Harry Truman had a sign on his desk that said what? “The Buck Stops Here.” In his farewell address - as he was leaving office - President Truman said, “The President - whoever he is - has to decide. He can't pass the buck to anybody. No one else can do the deciding for him. That's his job.”

We have to decide. When someone comes after us it’s our responsibility to choose how to respond to them.

Going on in verse 15 Paul gives us a description of what our response should be.

Verse 15: Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation.

Put simply - get into the heart of the other person. Feel with them. What gives them joy? Where do they hurt? What’s motivating them? What are they struggling with? The more we try to understand them the less we’ll receive their attacks as persecution directed at us.

Verse 16: “Don’t be wise in your own estimation.” Which means humility - as we realize God’s mercy and grace towards us. Humility to listen. Not just listening to words because we’re taking the high road and doing the right thing - showing that we’re going the extra mile. But getting down off of our own little pedestals of self-righteous indignation - and choosing to hear the heart of the other person.

That’s the example Paul shares with us in Philippians chapter two. Paul describes Jesus - Jesus Who voluntarily set aside His rights as God - His right to justifiably send all of us to Hell - all of us who are trapped and weighed down and struggling in sin - rebelling and rejecting God. Jesus, instead - with compassion for us - graciously humbled Himself - to the point of death on the cross to offer us salvation - life with Him. (Philippians 2:1-8) That’s the example we’re to follow.

Verse 17: Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men.

Given the society we live in this statement is a little strange. There are many people in the society around us who would say that we’re perfectly justified in making people pay for what they’ve done to us. In the sight of our society “pay back” is right.

And yet, how many of us know people who are consumed with the idea of holding the other person accountable for their actions? Who are on a crusade to make sure that everyone knows how they’ve been wronged and how evil the other person is? People for whom “forgiveness” isn’t a word in their vocabulary? And it’s tearing them apart.

Hanging on to pain keeps us from forgiveness. Not forgiving leads to bitterness which leads to anger which leads to hatred which leads to vengeance - pay back. Which only leads deeper into a downward spiral of pain and vengeance.

If the church could live differently - blessing instead of cursing - wouldn’t that be respected as well? To offer a way out of the trap of vengeance as an alternative choice? Offering healing instead of pain is always respectable.

Verse 18: If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.

When Paul wrote these words peace for Christians didn't exist. Christians were seen as a cult - a superstition - cannibals who performed all kinds of evil rituals.

Nero - the Roman Emperor - was depraved - insane. At night he lit up his garden parties with Christians burning alive on crosses. He burned Rome and blamed the Christians. He had Christians arrested and sent to the coliseum to be torn apart by wild animals. The Apostle Paul was martyred in 64 AD - beheaded at Nero's command.

And Paul was persecuted by his own people - the Jews. He was attacked by those in the Church.

When Paul writes, "If possible, so far as it depends upon you, live peaceably with all." These are not just spiritual platitudes - words written in a philosophical vacuum - they're real words from a man who died living by them. Peace may not be possible. Even amongst brethren and sistren.

There's no way that we can force change on someone else. Its impossible to demand apologies - admissions of guilt - changed behavior. People don't change - or recognize our rights - just because we force them to. But that doesn’t change our obligation to choose to be peacemakers - to respond with blessing instead of cursing.

Paul writes that our choice is to bless and not curse. He even gives us a description of what our response is suppose to be like.

Now, let’s be honest. Some of you are sitting there thinking, “Yeah, but that isn’t the real world.” Blessing our persecutors and not hitting back with some choice “cursing” response is not an easy thing. It goes against our natural inclination. So something has to change in us if we’re going to choose blessing instead of cursing.

That’s what Paul deals with in verses 19-21. Paul’s explanation of how we can come to the place in our hearts where we respond with blessing.

Two truths we need to recognize. First - We need to recognize that God is sovereign over our circumstances. Say that with me, “God is sovereign over our circumstances.”

Verse 19: Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.

We need to be careful here to understand what Paul is saying. It would be easy to think that Paul is telling us to step back and let God bring people to their knees since God’s wrath is a whole lot more effective than ours. “Look what they did God. I’m gonna step back. Hell fire and brimstone God. Burn ‘em good!”

Paul is quoting Moses - from Deuteronomy 32 - the words Moses spoke to Israel for the last time - just as they were going to enter the Promised Land. The words of Moses are a prophecy - that Israel would experience persecution and oppression - even in the Promised Land. And yet, there is a promise that God will vindicate His people. He will grind the false gods of their enemies into the dust and declare His power - His might and sovereignty in creation.

The point Moses makes - in this prophecy - and that Paul is referring to - is that we need to trust the sovereignty of God - to commit ourselves and our situations and enemies to God - and then let Him work to bring peace - even if we don't see the immediate results.

Do you remember Joseph? Sold into slavery by his own brothers. Carried off to Egypt and sold to Potiphar by his cousins the Ishmaelites. Falsely accused by Potiphar’s wife while doing what was right. Thrown into jail. Forgotten by his fellow prisoner - a man he tried to help. When his brothers came to Egypt looking for food and Joseph - as the number two man in all of Egypt - when Joseph was in control of their destiny that was an opportunity for vengeance. He could have done anything to them and there was nothing they could have done to him.

As his brothers are lying prostrate on the ground in total abject surrender to Joseph what is it that Joseph said? “Don’t be afraid of me. Am I God, to judge and punish you.” As someone that God has shown mercy and grace to it’s not my place to pay you back. “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” (Genesis 50:18-20: TLB, NIV)

In every circumstance of our lives when someone comes after us - as we focus on the circumstance or the person - it’s easy for us to forget: God is at work here. Paul writes, “Leave room for the wrath of God. Leave room for God to do what God is going to do.” We need to get our eyes off of ourselves and to recognize and trust what God is doing. Get our focus on God not us.

Second truth we need to recognize - in verses 20 an 21 is that when our focus is on God - what God is doing - God uses us as a part of His healing ministry. Try that with me, “God can use me.”

Verses 20,21: “But if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

We need to be careful not to misunderstand what Paul is saying here. It would be easy for us to think, “If I do these good things - feeding and watering - then my enemy is going to be so miserable with guilt and ashamed that he’ll have to admit what he did was wrong.”

There’s a story about some officers during the Korean conflict who rented a house for themselves and hired a Korean boy to do work for them - to do their laundry and cleaning and cooking. The boy was cheerful - happy. The officers were young and had a lot of fun playing tricks on this Korean boy. They would nail his shoes to the floor. They would short sheet his bed. They put buckets of water up over the door so when he came in the water would fall on him.

The boy always took it with such grace and good humor that after a while these officers began to feel kind of ashamed of themselves. So one day they called this boy in and told him, “We’re really ashamed of ourselves. We’ll never play tricks on you again.”

The boy said, “You mean no more nailing shoes to floor?” And they said, “No.”

“No more buckets over door?” And they said, “No.”

The boy said, “Good! Then I no more spit in your soup.”

If we have ulterior selfish motives then we’re still focused on ourselves - doing things for us - and not according to what God in His sovereignty wants to do. It’s possible to outwardly have a wonderful Christian attitude and yet inwardly be plotting silent revenge. We must honestly check our self-serving motivations at the door and see the bigger picture of what God is doing. Our goal is never our own restitution but God’s goal of spiritual renewal and the restoration of our brother or sister in Christ.

Jim Walton was translating the New Testament for the Muinane people of La Sabana in the jungles of Colombia. But he was having trouble translating the word peace.

During this time the village chief Fernando was promised a 20-minute plane ride to a location that would have taken him 3 days to travel by walking. The plane was delayed in arriving at La Sabana - so Chief Fernando left on foot. When the plane finally came a runner took off to bring Fernando back to the plane. But by the time they returned the plane had left.

Chief Fernando was ticked - angry because of the mix-up. He went to Jim Walton and started yelling.

Fortunately - Jim Walton taped the chief's angry tirade. When Jim later translated it, he discovered that the chief kept repeating the phrase, "I don't have one heart." Jim asked other villagers what having "one heart" meant and he found that it was like saying, "There is nothing between you and the other person." That - Jim realized - was what he needed to translate the word peace. (1)

Peace begins when there's nothing between us and God. We have one heart with God - nothing is held back - nothing separates us - no pride - no sin - no guilt - no condemnation. When we can trust God with everything we're freed by confidence in His sovereignty in all situations - freed to act as His children with mercy and grace towards others.

As a church - as husbands and wives - in our relationships - we begin to love and serve each other. To honestly share burdens and struggles. To weep together and to rejoice with each other. To listen to each other and to pray for each other. Bearing up one another. Prompting each other to righteousness. Freed to be agents of Gods’ healing - His restoration - even to those who wrong us.

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1.  Radio Bible Class - Peace